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There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, ''Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.''. He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again. ''Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.''.


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Las Vegas Puns & Jokes about Las Vegas. My favorite Las Vegas jokes and puns! Come on baby light my Valley of Fire. Whatever floats your gondola. I saw the neon sign and it opened up my eyes. You glow, girl. Las Vegas is no desert Mirage. Another sun bites the dust. (For your Vegas sunset pics).


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4. The Las Vegas lights are so bright, they make me feel like a star - or maybe just a moth! 5. The Elvis impersonators in Las Vegas have the whole "Viva Las Vegas" act down to a giant sequined tee. 6. The heat in Las Vegas is no joke, it's like stepping into an oven - a hot and dry comedy oven! 7.


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Get ready to dive headfirst into our article, "75 Hilarious Touchdowns of Humor: Las Vegas Raiders Jokes That Will Make You Go Wild!" It's chock-full of witty puns, lighthearted jabs, and downright hilarious moments that will leave you rolling on the floor with laughter. We'll take you on a journey through the world of the Las Vegas.


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But don't worry, we've got you covered. Here are our top 10 tips for choosing a slot machine in Vegas: 1) Pick a theme that interests you. 2) Look for special features like bonus rounds or progressive jackpots. 3) Consider your budget and stake size. 4) Check the pay table to see what the potential winnings are.


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A Man in Vegas. A man takes a trip to Vegas. After a night of gambling he loses all of his money. Broke and penniless, he tries desperately to find a cab to the airport, so he can get home with the little money he has left. The man gets in a cab outside the casino and says to the driver "I don't have any money left.


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George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude." "Harriet, she's a prostitute." "I don't believe you. That swee. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. A man is walking the Las Vegas strip, and runs into the most beautiful women he has ever met.


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Las Vegas is full of surprises, just like these sayings that can add a humorous twist to your Instagram captions. Here are some funny Las Vegas sayings for your amusement: 57. "Las Vegas - where everyone's a winner, at least until they check out.". 58. "Vegas, baby: The best excuse for questionable decisions.". 59.


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A guy came to Las Vegas for the first time and was having a ball. His first night in town he won a bunch of money at the tables and decided to go find a girl. He walked outside the casino and saw a gorgeous girl walking down the Strip, so he called to her, "Hey honey!" She came right over to him and said, "Hi!!"


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13. Vegas is Spanish for "your money is now our money.". 14. They say the house always wins, unless you stay at a motel. 15. Vegas: Like Disneyland for adults, but with booze and strippers. 16. Vegas is the only place where you can lose your shirt gambling and get married by an Elvis impersonator at 4am. 17.


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Las Vegas jokes, with their clever twists and playful jabs, mirror the city's own blend of excitement and unpredictability. They're not just about gambling or the famous Strip; they delve into the quirky, often humorous aspects of Sin City. From puns that make you groan to one-liners that catch you off guard, these jokes are a testament to.


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4. You can't spell "Las Vegas" without "love gas". 5. They say the neon lights are bright in Vegas, but they're not as bright as your eyes. 6. Vegas is like a box of chocolates - you never know what kind of hooker you're going to get. 7. I don't always bet in Vegas, but when I do, it's on black. 8.


several people toasting with beer glasses in front of them and the

the man asks. "Ribbit. 3-wood." The guy takes out a 3-wood, and boom! A hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man has golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"


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"Rolling dice and stealing hearts in Vegas - where even luck can't resist a good time. Get ready to bet on laughter!" "100+ Sinfully Hilarious Vegas Jokes: Betting on Laughter in the Entertainment Capital!"


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101 Vegas Jokes. By Laughlore Team Updated on October 25, 2023. Welcome to the world of Vegas jokes, where laughter is the ultimate jackpot! Las Vegas, known as the entertainment capital of the world, is a city brimming with bright lights, bustling casinos, and larger-than-life experiences. In this vibrant atmosphere, humor finds its place in.


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Score: 1. A pirate captain and his mates take a trip to Las Vegas As they approach the city, the Captain yells "Thaarr she blows!" A woman yells from the distance "No, my shift doesn't start for another hour!" Score: 1. How do you know your in Las Vegas When the strip club has a splash zone. Score: 1.